Devotion Unseen
by dangertux
Summary: Shu/Ayase centric one shot. Takes place after ep22. It was actually an idea I had that didn't fit in well with "Wheels of Fate" but still I felt was worth sharing. R&R Please :-


Devotion Unseen

A/N : This is a quickie one shot that I cooked up while writing "Wheels of Fate". This was a partially formed idea that didn't fit with that story but I felt was worth sharing by itself.

Disclaimer : I own none of GC's characters or any other intellectual property associated with Guilty Crown or it's owners.

Had I known then what I do now, I probably would have never let him go. After all, I could tell he was in pain I could tell that he was injured. Not the type of injury one sustains in physical battle, but a wound with an emotional depth so great it can tear asunder the very fiber of the soul. Shu was in love, a love that at the time seemed it would be forever unrequited.

Miss Inori Yuriziha, now I knew her a little differently back then. She was just Inori, and Egoist was simply a cover for her actual purpose. She, despite her near perfect figure and adorable face was a hardened killer whom I'd personally seen kill no less than ten men. This was back in the days when we were both members of Funeral Parlor, back when I had a pathetic crush on Gai, an arrogant self appointed leader who was convinced that he was saving the world. The truth was, he had his own personal agenda, and I was far too enamored with him to see through his lies. In any case, back to the point. Inori. She was a test tube project that Gai had discovered while raiding one of many GHQ facilities we took the liberty of pillaging. At first she seemed blissfully unaware of her surroundings and was easily molded to fit Gai's agenda, of course, after all she was a pivotal piece in the puzzle. That was until she met Ouma Shu.

That was an interesting combination. Shu was an average seventeen year old boy, Inori could have had anyone she wanted but she quickly grew attached to him. She would tail him watching his every move, originally this was ordered by Gai. However, any woman could tell from the way she looked at Shu that this was no ordinary task for her. She enjoyed this, she enjoyed being around him. Perhaps he made her feel like a normal school girl, perhaps it was the innocent yet surprisingly grown up way that he looked at her. I can't say for sure, but whatever the case their relationship quickly became something that to this day I still can't describe. If I had to the best way I could describe it was incendiary mixed with a hefty dash of codependence. Shortly after their first meeting she even began disobeying Gai's orders for what she perceived to be Shu's best interest. Though, if you ask me Shu's interest would have been best served had she stayed away from him.

Now. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to sound bitter, but realistically she has been gone for over a year now and I'm the one sitting next to him in this overly sterile hospital room. He can't even fend for himself in this world, not for lack of trying but I can't imagine that being blind and heartbroken is a particularly inspiring feeling to wake up to every morning. I can't say I blame him for what he did, after all I am more than aware of what it's like to have feelings for someone you know will never reciprocate them. I guess, I really just miss the old Shu. I miss the Shu that was ready to make his last stand against Mana and save the love of his life. I miss the Shu that told me that I was perfect. The doctors say that they can't tell me whether or not _that_ Shu will ever be back. If she really loved him, would she have left him this way?

So here we are in this hospital, two days after he left my apartment telling me that everything was fine.

"Sure" I said, knowing full well that everything was not fine. After all the things he had just confided in me, they weren't healthy things.

The conversation had started out seemingly innocent like many we had had in the past. Eventually most of our discussions would drift onto Inori in some way but this just seemed different.

"I miss her." He said to me. I could see that he was sad even though I couldn't see his eyes from behind the blacked out sunglasses he wore. His expression changed ever so slightly, most people probably don't notice this but he's normally smiling just marginally. This time that serene and almost unnoticeable smile turned to a slight frown. Almost as if he were playing cards and trying not to reveal his hand.

"Oh... Do you want to talk about it?" My usual reply. I've never worked up the courage to do anything more than just offer my support the best I could.

"It's just the same as always. I wish I could be with her again." This was how things always started with him, but the way he said it, it sounded odd. He put a heavy emphasis on the last part, the part about being with her again, I didn't think too much of it at the time, although now it makes so much sense it's frightening.

"I know it's hard Shu. You know we are here for you, right?" I ask him, I always made sure to include the compulsory we. A thinly veiled lie to hide the truth. The truth that I was screaming inside my heart. "Let me be here for you Shu!"

"Do you think she's waiting for me?" He answered my question with another question and his normally sedate tone increased in pace.

"I'm sure she is." Again, my typical answer. I mean who wouldn't wait for you right? I know I'm still waiting for you Shu.

"So I should be able to be with her soon." Again his tone changed, this time to a more melancholy drawl.

"Umm... I guess." His statement had caught me off guard, I didn't expect it nor did I put that much thought into it, he was just a heartbroken teenager after all. In retrospect those words will probably haunt me until the day I die.

"I think so too." This time his feint smile returns, he once again seems to be at peace. Good enough for now I rationalize to myself, attempting to push the concern I had out of my mind.

"Are you going to be okay?" Something inside me told me not to let the subject go, this was different from all the times in the past. That something was correct, unfortunately being the timid rejection prone girl that I am, I did nothing. Well. That's not true, I did work up the smallest bit of courage. I did what seemed right to me at the time. I reach out and tried to hold his hand. Don't mock me, I'm not one for public displays of affection and Shu was about as impossible of a target as I could have picked. Besides, what was I to do, flash him my cleavage? That would have worked well save for the fact that he couldn't have seen it even if I smashed his face into my bosom.

He quickly let my hand fall through his own assuring me that everything was just fine. "Yeah I just need some time to think alone I guess."

"Sure." Lame, I know. But I was still picking up my shattered heart from the last little bit of rejection. I might have been being a little selfish, but it's not like I didn't mean it. My intention was to provide him just as much comfort as he would have provided me.

He left my apartment presumably to go think alone. Later that night I had done a considerable bit of thinking myself. I decided that even if I was going to get shot down, I would confront Shu with my feelings. After all he had done for me the least I could do was let him know. At very least maybe he'd pity me. Perhaps a hug or maybe even a chaste kiss. Sad isn't it? The girl who wants help from no one, longing for the touch of a man who might as well be on another planet. So I made the obvious choice, I picked up the phone and decided I would call him. It hurts so much less if you don't have to see the look on their face when they tell you that they don't share an increasingly deepening need to have you by their side.

Of course, the only thing more deterring than confronting him face to face. The ominous beep that signified I had been reduced to professing my love to an answering service. "Shu give me a call back, there is something I want to talk to you about."

"There. That was non-committal, I could want to talk to him about anything from knitting to how I want to make his broken heart whole again. He'll call me back." I joked out loud as I hung up the phone.

As fate would have it, he didn't call me back. He usually was pretty responsive, in fact he's never gone longer than a few hours without returning my calls. I decided I would have to check on him in the morning. The very next day I found him in his bed, an empty bottle of pills on his night stand and his music player in his ear. I'm not going to lie, I looked at what he was listening to, in the end all he wanted was to be with her.

That was two days ago, I've been here since. I'm not sure why, it just feels like where I need to be.

"You're not alone Shu." I whisper as I run my fingers through his thick brown hair. He can't hear me he hasn't even the slightest clue that I'm here. "I love you." It's much easier to say these words now.

Much to my surprise he seems to react to them though. He starts moving in the bed and turns to face me. "Inori?" He calls out.

I slink back into my chair trying my best to remain silent until he falls back to sleep, I couldn't begin to face him now.


End file.
